NOW HIRING: Intergalactic Station Manager (Temporary*)
Location: Sector 7-G, Orbiting an Unregulated Moon
Program: Galactic Equity Initiative – “Oops, Our Bad (Reparations Division)”
As part of the ‘Sorry We Destroyed Your Planet’ Rehabilitation Initiative, we're thrilled to offer surviving humans the opportunity to become productive members of galactic society. That’s right: you can now manage and operate a fully-licensed**, totally-above-board***, small business... IN SPACE.
As Station Manager, you'll wear many helmets! Your exciting daily responsibilities include:
Cultivating entirely legal, non-contraband, alien crops in our semi-sentient greenhouse
Refueling questionable starships with fuel that WASN’T cut with stellar debris!
Operating a general store that sells everything from moon muffins to our patented barely poisonous space almonds!
Meeting new and exciting friends! (read: bounty hunters, androids that definitely haven’t reached singularity, and eldritch blob-things)
Maintaining the teleporter (i.e. making sure nobody gets teleported inside out…again)
This is your chance! Take a leadership role, make a name for yourself in the outer rim, and maybe make enough credits to upgrade from "intern with oxygen privileges" to "franchise owner."!
Perks include: Complimentary plasma semi-resistant gloves
Oxygen insurance (terms and conditions apply)
Honest work for legally recorded credits
The warm, fuzzy feeling of being marginally useful to galactic society
Apply today! No experience necessary. Psychopathy a plus. Terms and conditions apply. Employee is not subject to Galactic Regulation 3B. This is not a ‘sweatshop’, please disregard any interstellar spam inferring such.
* Subject to current manager’s timeline of 4 solar temporal measures (3 with good behavior)
** License is printed on edible paper.
*** Legitimacy not legally guaranteed in all sectors.
